Nothing like doing things backwards!

Work Story # 21

He introduced me to a lady this morning and said, "Hey, this is our new English Teacher.  Please get her whatever she needs!"  So, I gave her keys and resources for her classroom.  After she left my office, he came in and held up 3 BLANK reference checks and a BLANK hiring form and said, "Guess I better get these done, huh?!"

My internal dialogue at the moment: Oh, wonderful!  I just gave someone keys and textbooks who hasn't even been hired yet... Infact, we don't even know that she'll pass her background check!  Heck, the district doesn't even know we are trying to hire her.  Lovely!

We need more square footage around here....

Work Story #20

He was talking to some of our school district big wigs and saying how he thought we should turn one of our classrooms into cafeteria overflow seating.  He explained, "By turning that classroom into cafeteria space, it doesn't necessarily add square footage, but it certainly adds square seating."  

My internal dialogue at the moment: hmmm, square seating huh?!  And what exactly IS square seating?  And secondly, how are the district big wigs not laughing at you right now?!

Hold your skirts ladies....

Work Story # 19

I was talking to one of the female teachers today.  She was telling me that last year she was walking to her car in the staff parking lot, and the wind flipped her skirt up.  He happened to be walking by and said to her, "Hey it's a good thing I'm a leg man."

My internal dialogue at the moment I heard this story:  How has this man seriously never been sued?  Are you kidding me?!  Who says that!!!

Oh don't worry... I don't have to catch a flight today!

Work Story # 18

Yesterday I had to leave work early at 1:15pm to catch a flight.  I had 4 days worth of work to finish before I left!  I had a stack of papers that he needed to sign before I left, so I called him into my office and said I only have 3 minutes to get this all done, and I've got to go, or I'm going to miss my flight!  He, instead of immediately signing the papers, sat down in the chair, leaned back and began talking about how much he loves traveling!  

My internal dialogue at the moment:  Are you kidding me?  I'm over here shaking from working so hard to finish everything, and I don't CARE if you like San Francisico!  I want you to sign the freaking papers so I can catch my flight!!!  CLUELESS!!

how many states are in the US?

Work story # 17

He was talking to me about how it's not fair that AZ has reciprocity with 16 states for fingerprint clearance cards and how one of our teachers cannot start teaching yet, because his fingerprints were cleared from 1 of the states that AZ doesn't recognize... He said to me, "I just don't understand why we have reciprocity with 16 states and don't recognize the other 16."  

Internal dialogue at the moment: Hmm... since when has the US only had 32 states?  

wow, that's a lot of people!

Work story # 16

We have something called "Opening Day" that the school district holds at the beginning of the year.   EVERY staff member from EVERY school in the district comes together for a pep rally sort of event to get everyone excited about the new school year.  We have 4 schools, with approximately 200 employees per school, which would be a total of 800 employees.  He said to a teacher, "I don't know how we're all going to fit in that ballroom at the hotel.  There will be at least 5,000 employees there."

My internal dialogue at the moment: Wow, 5,000 huh?  Apparently math is not your forte!

But I don't want to lose my job....

Work Story # 15

He was telling me about a quiz  that one of the Administrators put together for all of the students during the 1st day of school.  The quiz contains questions about the student handbook.  He said, "I think it's a really great quiz.  I just hope the kids don't think that if they fail the quiz, they'll lose their JOB." 

My internal dialogue at the moment: hmmm... I didn't know kids could lose their JOB by failing a quiz they took at school about the student handbook!